It will be some time before...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Yahoo!! Today is my last day at work and tommorrow i will be on my way to what I am working for. My mood now is happy, relieved yet a bit stress and worried for tommorrow. I am just concerned about the long travelling journey and the fact that i will need to wake up at SIX am!!! Let's see how it goes tommorrow. I pray and hope the teachers over there will be friendly and most importantly, i will be able to cope with teaching the kids over there. I hope that i will really manage only maximum 5 children. And what a day to start at work!! 01 Sep!! Teachers Day!! Guess i won't be receiving any self made cards or heartwarming kisses from the children as it is my first day at work!
My brain is now quite cluttered as i still have some hand over to do and i still need to pass my friend my laptop so that he can help me upgrade it. And i still have 2 plastic bags of stuffs to bring home! Yes, i really regret on how many stupid small oniments i have at my desk. Now, all of them are laying around in my room, wondering which dusty corner they belong to. They do not have any idea, neither do I!!! Pathetic! Some of them are gifts from colleagues who travelled. They look cute and nice but of not much meaning to me. I wish to throw them away!
I have already finished copying my desktop music to CDS, clear my folders, delete my personal emails. But i still haven't drag my work emails to the appropriate folders and they are a lot! Gosh!! What a packed last day i am having. Last Minute Job is what i do best!! :P
People, i will not be able to access internet for perhaps 2 weeks or more. Before you leave tags on my tagboard wondering where i have gone to, hope this entry is lengthy enough to compensate!! I hope my friend will help me get my laptop done as soon as possible so that i will be able to update my life again. Till then, it will be some time before you hear how (naughty OR obedient the children are),(kind OR bitchy the teachers are) and (fun OR boring my new life will be)!!! :)
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |3:15 PM|
Monday, August 29, 2005
The clock is still stuck at 4 plus and Bee called me to ask for a favour. While i am helping her, another line came and the call is from the childcare centre. She confirmed my position but gave me 1050 as a starting pay,which after 3 months probation, it will be 1100, which is still quite low. But i still ACCEPTED IT!!!
Well, after i graduate, my pay will increase and my main motive is to go all the way into it so as to confirmed my passion! No more sit and think! Act on it!!!! So who cares about the salary!! WAH WOO WOO WOO!!! I am so God Damn Happy that i got this job!!! And i will be starting soon after my last day at Elsevier!!
But my centre is at Frankel Avenue which is around East Coast!! So i will need to reach at 8.15am!! Possessing late bird's habits,I will need to change myself completely to be a good directress! (Yes, in Montessori schools, we are not called teachers. Everyone of us is called "Directress".) Our job is to move around and observe each student when they played the games. And we will need to present to them on how to play them first. Interesting isn't it? GOSH!!! I am definitely looking very forward to the fresh start i have ahead of me!!
Full Drive on to Montessori Teaching!!! :)
P/s: Please full blast your speakers to listen to this wonderful korean song i have with me now! It is a song from a korean serial show called "Full House". Hee Hee! :)
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |5:20 PM|
Went for a job interview on Saturday for a childcare teacher position at a Montessori Centre at East Coast. Although the pay is low but i like the environment!There are actually 11 teacher in a bungalow building as the centre emphasis on 1 to maximum 5 children teaching. The lady who interviewed me briefed me on the jobscope and benefits after viewing my form. She say she will give me a ring on Monday after she discussed with her boss who is in LA now. If i get this job, i will need to start on 01 Sep which is straight after my last day.
How i wish and hope i can get this position!!! But it is already 2 pm plus and i haven't get any news. Sad isn't it? :( I hope i will come back blogging with leaping joy annoucing that i will be employed soon!
*Pray for me!!*
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |2:10 PM|
Self Test - (3rd one is very true for me!)
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
How You Life Your Life 
You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage 
You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate 
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.The True You
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you. You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |3:32 PM|
Met my secondary school mate while i am waiting for train this morning at Hougang mrt station. She belongs to one of the higher ranks when i am in St John last time. I still remember her name and her personality as she is very vain and walk like a proud peacock with her butt shaking vigorously left and right, or should i say a over-reacted-trying-to-be model. Her voice is high pitch and she can be very bitchy. I perhaps she is well known for that just that she is not aware of.
I remembered i parthner with her one night when we are camping in Xinmin, she mistaken that i am AFRAID each time when i burp and tap my chest with my hand. And soon she say, "Why are you so scared?", and give me a impatient face. But as nerd as i can be last time, i kept quiet and i am wondering why she think i am scared when i am actually burping? Ha ha ha!! More goon is that i asked her how she walked so sexily?? She say proudly that she imitate the models in the television and i actually think she "overlearnt" a little....
Oh well, back to today. When she saw me, she goes "Liuen!!" in a tone like a teacher spotted her student!! I smiled at her in a friendly manner and i expect her to start her boasting session. And real "luckily", the train arrived and i got to entertain her the whole journey. She annouced proudly that she is doing sales. And when i ask her questions, she will not forget to add some proud and boastful acheivements she has and smiled brightly. When i tell her i have just quit and my last day is coming and i always reach at 10am and go off at 6pm, she gave a fake smile for about 10 seconds. Her attitude is very proud and she talk like she has her objectives in life and as long as the money is in the pocket, one should face the fake world. She talked to me like i am her client and add spices to her "speech" by salesman hand gestures. I oppose her by saying i do not like this kind of communication and i will instead prefer to work with children although the pay is short as they do not have ill intentions. I do not like talking to her but i still politely respond to her and when i reach my stop, the way she end my conversation is like "Ok, you already have my precious 15 minutes talking to you." I smiled politely and say a nice "Goodbye". Throughout the whole journey with her, she treat me like someone more junior then her, as if she has savour more salt than me (in chinese saying)! Anyway, i did not go "WOW!! IS IT? YOU GOT PROMOTED?" when she boasted, instead, i remained cool, smile and said "Good that you has moved on rather than stay on a spot." How is that??? Cool enough?? Ha Ha, mad Carole!
*Phew!!!!~* I think to myself. I am the one wasting 15 minutes of my precious time listening to some vain pots boasting about her "small like peanuts" achievements. I hate show offs!!!!
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |2:06 PM|
Monday, August 22, 2005
Had 2 eventful weekends with my Saturday spent with polymates while my Sunday spent with my family. (Suddenly, i remembered a comment from May that i have a lot of grammar mistakes in my blog! Hee Hee~)
Let's hope on to Saturday first!
Let me see, we have bubbly Phyllis, sweet Jas, "shu nu" Yenping, cool May and "May-one-and-only" Meyer joined as only at dinner. With about 5 girls hitting the KTV from 11am to 2pm, what can one expect? Of course we flood the system with our dedications and we only managed to finish about 3/4 of them! :( I am a person who like to listen to how people sing and now let me share my thoughts about my fellow friends' singing skills!
May: Very expressive! She sings well and with feelings. Actually, i think May should give Superstar a try!!!!
Jasmine: Nice and sweet voice, sing each song with effort.
Phyllis: When she sings Sammi's songs, it brings out her voice! She is also more suitable to sing cantonese.
Yenping: Actually, her voice is sweet. Just that she will need to sing louder to show off her voice. :)
As for me, i am not a superstar cum singer. My low voice scares the girls off and they always call me to sing normal when i am being the guy role in a duet. Hee Hee!!! :P
Soon after the karaoke craze,we proceed on to Settler's cafe where we played the games from 3pm to 5pm. The game which all of us enjoyed most is Pictionary!!! It is May's idea to play the game and it is real fun to see everyone acting and drawing out the clues! Jokes of the day is Phyllis "tortise-looking-sheep", my "mistress-look-alike-bride" and "May-sudden-realisation-secretary"!! I guess you girls must be laughing your heads off now! Enjoyable time i had!!!! :) Another game followed which involves moving canoes to collect gem and that game tested our patience and we gave up after about 4 rounds.
After that, we made our way to one of the cafe at Holland Village and spent the rest of our evening plus night there. Meyer joined us only at this part. At first, i thought his addition would be more of a hinderance for us girls to talk but instead, we can all hit it off well. All of us shared our experience and opinions and laugh our heads off at times too. I can FOREVER remember this question asked by a cheeky girl.
"Carole!!! Is zebra a white horse with black strips or a black horse with white strips?"
And i give the most silly answer on earth. A very fun night! And thanks to everyone for making my night so colorful and happy! :)
Now on to Sunday (My family)
Finally, KK come to our house despite of bambi's existence as it is his birthday! Liusi and KK stick together when they are in our place and are definitely happy about their "going-to-be-born" baby. Although i can see Liusi is more excited about it while KK is meanwhile more exited with the gifts he received from us! Hahhaah! :P
I spent my afternoon tutioning my nephew his Chinese. He is constantly straining my patience and i have to shout at him and threatened him but he is not as "vulnernable" as last time anymore. He will instead giggle and sing some irritating songs and his attention span is still short. I spent about 2 hours just teaching him less than 10 chinese words!!! He is definitely a very tough student to handle!!
After that, i talked to my da sao, liusi and KK. I never ever appreciated family values till everything happened, till i fall out of love twice, till i realised that my family will always be there for me. From then, i started not to flare at them when they bug me, i started to learn to talk to them and i started to be more obedient and showed my concern more openly to them. I feel like a much better person now.
P/s: Sometimes, life is so amazing!! It gives you a lot of downfalls but the lessons learnt from is not anyone can explained and limit. One will only learn it when he/she experience the loss themselves. Everything happens for a reason, this is what Annie told me, and i believed deeply in it.
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |3:12 PM|
Friday, August 19, 2005
Happy
- Dad and Mum are going to stay at my home for some time!!! They are actually coughing all the way and my brother scared that they will spread to my nephew as my nephew's exam is coming. That my sisters and me are more than happy to let them stay over!! :)
- Tommorrow's outing with my polygirls. Be it going to be fun or not, i am simply looking forward to it now as i organised KTV for a start and straight head to Setters Cafe for gaming session. Doesn't it sounds SuperLiciousFun? Hee Hee!
- My last day is slowly coming. I am more than happy to leave this office. My department is getting bigger as it is growing with young girls and a lot of gossiping and bitching stuffs. And someone is acting like she is the leader and i can sense a lot of "war" will erupt soon after i leave! I am glad and damn happy to leave this "battlefield"!!! Ha Ha Ha!!! ( Why can't it be tommorrow instead??? :( )
Relieved
- Eventually realised that blaming won't make things better, especially for people with narrow and fixed thinking. Perhaps to forgive is a better idea. I am glad i picked up my shreds of anger and made things better. I just hope it will really get better.
Depressed,Sad,Disheartened
- Is not about me, don't worry. But my experience really do make me understand the situation more. I only hope that the truth will come in light soon. That is all.
So long with my feelings!!! Am going to start my plans soon as my lasy day is slowly coming. My bank is starting to show a red alert signal. Before i realise i have less than what i can survive on, i better start my plans now!!! :S
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |9:37 AM|
Monday, August 15, 2005
Learnt - Some awakening thoughts and knowledge gained after things happened.
1) 2 in 10 guys know the real meaning of Love.
2) There is still confusion about Lust and Love.
3) The mind is a powerful tool. A person who appeared and act repentful may not be so when being looked deep inside.
4) Do not judge a person by just 1 question and 1 answer. Ask more, and slowly, the thoughts will emerge. And only from it, a person shall be judged.
5) If you want comments from friends, have the generiousity of heart and mind to accept. Do not ask for comments when you already have your thinking fixed and screwed in your head.
6) Do not "overuse" a stunt/trick. It is a turnoff.
7) When one know himself/herself too well, it can be dangerous. As the person will use his/her good points to cover his/her well planned scheme.
8) Simple is still the best!
9) Your mindset set your destiny. Keep ot originally pure,simple and optismitic.
At the same time, i wondered.....
Can any guy resisit temptation? Why is it when a guy can resist temptation, it will be the girl who betrayed? How many lessons must a human learnt to know that we should not take each other for granted?
Last but not least, friends are FRIENDS when they are with you during your Ups and Downs. Darlings.... I will be with you all no matter what ok...you know who you are!! And my dear family also lah, of course!!! (Wave to Liusi!! Hee Hee)
And one last point, it is not easy to nag, and not everyone has the power to nag. Nagging may be a nuisance, but it is a form of love and concern in disguise. Next time when you receive a "Nag" from someone, please feel happy that you are being loved! :)
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |11:03 AM|
Friday, August 05, 2005
Standing in the mrt after work is definitely the most tiring thing and who is not looking out for a vacant seat? With that, my eyes start looking around and just at the next stop, a person alight and there is a vacant seat around. I did saw a short image moving towards the seat too but i am faster so my butt did not failed me, and
After a few stops, she found a seat, which is exactly opposite me and she stare setting her big eyes at me. No, not setting, is glaring! She is staring PLUS glaring at me with her BIG eyes as if i killed her parents! Her revengeful eyes make me feel challenged and i stare back at her. Both of us stared at each other (without winking) for about 3 minutes.
"Wah, this girl ah, so revengeful! Her eyes so scary and she didn't blink at all. Goosh, my eyes are tired" I am thinking to myself and i look away. I am feeling damn stupid to get involved in this "eyeing" battle and i wondered why is she so upset and angry about just a simple act? But soon, i realised her pair of eyes are still fixed on ME and i looked at her, and this time, she is looking at me with an attitude of "Shit you! I will stare at you till you die!" and she fold her arms and looked at me in a impatient manner. I start to think that this is quite amusing and i look back at her in a mocking manner. My eyes start to soften and i just look at her. But still, she stare at me. Finally, i lift my chin at her which assemble "What?" She looked away for a while and start looking at me again.
"Hougang Station" the sweet familiar voice finally says.
With that, i straighten my back and tidy up my hair, constantly remaining cool, and the indian girl constantly still "eyeing" me!! I headed towards the door and when i walked out of the train and looked back, i noticed the indian girl turned and glare at me, and finally finished up her pretty battle by rolling her eyes at me.
What a BANG effect this girl has on me!! I am wondering why can a primary 3 girl get so revengeful just because i snatch her seat? I mean, she has been glaring at me all the way from boon keng to hougang. What are the attitude of children in this modern society? What causes them to be so narrow minded and not forgiving. If i killed her parents or murder her friends, of course i will not be grumbling here of her acts now. BUT, it is just a tiny matter! No wonder there are so many youngsters crime in the newspaper now. This girl's behaviour are just syptoms of possible-to-happen crime events in future. Sad yet true. I feel actually relieved that i am in childcare rather than primary school. Sigh.
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |11:54 AM|
Thursday, August 04, 2005
I have bought the "ladies" panty for Bambi. But she is still in her blues! And she is still busy ripping off her panty. I give up on her. :(
Too Much Waste
Yesterday, something funny happened. I am out of my house late. When i say late, i mean i step out at 9.05 am which, i am supposed, to start work at 9!!! Nothing to be proud about of course, but just find myself a bit too much! Heh.... hmmm...hehehhee. OK, where am i? Oh yeah, back to the moment i step out of my house. I am dressed up yesterday as i am meeting Jessie and Angie in the evening. Topped with an off shoulder green top, and a white skirt plus a pink necklace, i am looking very feminine with my super curly hair. (Self praising, please tolerate! :P) My guy neighbour opposite me is stepping out at the same time and also heading towards the lift. He is a very havoc looking guy, maybe in his late 20's or early 30's. His looks is quite not bad too and is a trendy guy. But i noticed for the last 2 times i saw him (including this time), he is holding plastic bags of Rubbish, waiting for the lift. So i greeted him by "Clearing your rubbish?"
"Yes." he replied with a friendly smile.
He followed by explaining his rubbish are too big to be squeezed in the chute, therefore he has to bring them down. We remained friendly in the lift and he is always so gentleman to let me walk out first.
When i am walking home late at night yesterday towards my block, my thoughts just passed if i will see this guy again. And indeed, i saw him again!!! And what is he doing?? He is THROWING HIS RUBBISH, yes, at night, doing the same thing in the morning!!! (Ha Ha Ha..) I could sense his embrassement when he see me. I teased him,
"Wah, why everytime i see you, you are clearing rubbish?"
He added with some embrassement "Oh, my house really have a lot of rubbish to clear, don't know why also". And you can sense his embrassement and I laugh a bit, trying to control my amusement still.
And this morning, shit!, i saw him standing at his doorstep again, the same timing as me! I faster lock my door and walked out, wishing we will not meet as i do not know how to react if i see him holding his rubbish again. I feel that i should not teased him so much, yet i do not know what to say to cover the embrassement if i saw him with his RUBBISH again. (*giggling*) I think i have make him very embrassed too as i do not hear any footsteps towards the lift. I faster took the lift and make my way to work today. I guess he is avoiding me too as i bet he is "doing his housework" again!!! ha Ha ha!!!
Looks Really Matter?
Please picture feminie Carole, still with the green off shoulder top and white skirt! Hee Hee!Yesterday when i am walking among the crowd in Bugis, a guy is coming from my left hand side, and we are both reaching a"cross road" junction. Normally, i will let the person head first and the person, regardless guy or girl, will rush pass. But yesterday when i stopped and let the guy go first, he actually stopped and give me a gentleman look and signal me politely to walk first. I am shocked by with "gentleman" manners. I bet if i am wearing as ragged as i do normally, he wouldn't bother much but to walk pass. I guess looks really matter to guys, doesn't it? Sounds sucky? You bet!
P/s: We have took a lot of photoshots yesterday and i will show you people our "glamarous-super-character" shoots when it is ready! :)
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |10:15 AM|
Girls' Issues - Human and Dog!!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Irritating people exist in my company and i am definitely glad that i am getting out of it. I am not going to go into details about what happened but it jus proves that in an environment which females are the majority, "Gossip" is part of it too. So whether i should remain cool or i should "show off" my vulgar language and be as sarcastic as i can be, i think i will only know it when that certain person irritate me again. I just hope i won't elbow her and give her a punch in her tummy! *Evil Grin*
Whatever, put silly childish events aside. Latest Update! Ms Bambi is bleeding again! No No, don't freak out and capped your mouth in your palms! She is not hurt in any way! She is just having her menses again!! Hee Hee! We wrap her up in baby pampers, which appeared to be too heavy to hang around her butt. So everytime when we have her nicely cleaned and wrapped, she will just stay still at the spot which we put her down. Her tail will droop and she will look at me with pathetic eyes. And when she walked, the pampers seemed to be encraved with "100% REAL GOLD" and weigh tons as she is making huge effort to move! And when she is really fed up with the pampers, she will rush around us and jump her the sofa and rub her body against the sofa like mad. After that, she will suddenly stop and lay there, appearing very helpless. Hours after, she will bite off her pampers and run away with it, sometimes eating up a bit of it.
When i see how gloomy she is with her pampers, i ask Melissa how she did it when her dog have her menses. Melissa told me her sister bought a PANTY for the dog. There is a inner part where you can put tissue in the slot to absorb the blood. So i am going to get a panty for Bambi later. *She must be hopping in joy now!* :P
Poor Bambi! She is so miserable till she is not following behind me when i walked, she is not jumping down and hurrying behind me when i get up from the sofa and head for the kitchen. And her eyes looked depressed and she is just laying around. :(
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |3:36 PM|
Monday, August 01, 2005
Finally, the white envelope is handed over to my supervisor. I told her my plans and surprisingly, she feel that i am very suitable to be a teacher too! She say that i am capable of enduring and i am very patient. And these are qualities of being a teacher. And she feel that i can get along well with children too. She is happy for my decision and agreed with me moving on. Generous, is what she is! :) I also told her that i do not like to mix with my colleagues here as they are too gossipy. And from my supervisor's, she told me that they (the bitchy colleagues)really did told her that i MAY BE suffering from BreakUp when i am in a foul mood 1 month back. And that is when they know NUTS about what happened. I don't care if you add the word "Maybe" or whatever shit. Making assumptions without asking the real person is purely gossiping.
The next thing you must be wondering in your head will be "Why did Carole resign now when in the previous entry she planned to endure till Dec for bonus?" The answer is simple. I want to really emerge myself and moved on to what i want to do, and make sure it is the thing for me. Although i have already invest in the diploma, but that is not an excuse to say "Ok, that is it." Thinking of what i want to do and doing it is 2 different things. I must sink in and make sure this is what i want! This is my mindset now after attending 1 seminar about "Money and You" and playing a round of cashflow.
I also notice i learnt a lot hanging around with different groups of people. When i hang out with my secondary school friends, i learn to enjoy. When i hang out with my primary schoold friends and Bee Lian, i learn to be motivated, to focus, to aim and we all learned together on how to excel. We are still on the way to success. I am a person who WILL learn from mistake and from experience. But my big minus point is also that something bad must happened before i learnt my mistake. Someone told me that this will hinder me in getting my ultimate goal in future. So i must try to switch my brain to be able to bring myself out of my situation and looked at it back as a 3rd party. And i also have emotional and impulsiveness in my blood. I will need to overcome all these.
The reason that i am blogging all my thoughts down is so as to keep track of my thinking. If you, my dear friends have noticed, i always have ever-changing plans. And that is a big MINUS point. I am still not capable of sticking to my goal and follow it throughout. I am a person who know what are my weak points but do not overcome it at times. Failure, u called it. :(
By the way, i have a well spent Saturday with little MayMay. And i have saw her sum up about my story. Beautifully done indeed! *Clap Clap!* Apart from this, we also share conversations about stories and our views about life. I love talking to people who has their views, correct and motivating one of course, as i feel that i can learn from them too. May is impressed with me and I am also very impressed with her! I am impressed at how positive she can stay depsite all the challenges she encounter in life! *Salute!* A person really grow up only when sad and bad things hit them. Is only when you lose something, then you will realise what you have lost and treasure it! Is just human nature to take things for granted.
Carole just whispered in the wind.
@ |4:00 PM|